So, what does homesickness feel like?
Coming to university and moving away from home (for the first time in their life for most students) is an exciting feeling. The excitement of ‘freedom’ for the first time and wanting to be independent, mixed with the envy from hearing stories of other people’s experiences, is what drives most people to study away from home.
However, the realisation that you've actually moved away from your family, friends, and the place you grew up in only really settles once you’ve actually done it. Clinical psychologist Joshua Klapow says that “homesickness has everything to do with attachment”. He noted that when we feel homesick, we’re feeling insecure or uncomfortable with where we are, physically and emotionally. We’re longing for something that, in our minds, is known, predictable, consistent, and stable.
You may think that homesickness is a weakness for people who are not strong-willed or confident. This is the main reason why most people aren’t open about their feelings. A study done by Skyfactor Mapworks shows that an average of 76% of students face moderate to extreme levels of separation homesickness.
It saddens me to see many who aren’t open enough to talk about it, especially the male gender, simply because it's seen as a sign of weakness or ‘isn’t cool’ to talk about it. This stigma only worsens the situation and can affect their lives, impact their mental health, influence the kind of friends made, and also distract them from being productive — all of which can affect their entire future.
The reality of homesickness is this — it doesn’t require a trigger.
Living away from home makes you miss your family, friends, even your favourite restaurant! Moving into a new accommodation with strangers for housemates can also make you feel out of place, causing you to miss home.
At my former university, I’d trouble fitting in and felt alone, ultimately leading me to drop out. I'd to deal with the feeling of not being able to study abroad or away from home. Eventually, I mustered up the courage to come to Malaysia, where, through my experiences, I was able to better deal with being in a new place and can now comfortably call Malaysia my second home.
Upon coming to Malaysia, the biggest trigger was being alone in a new country and having to make new friends as an introvert. Even when you start being comfortable, talking to your friends back home or those around you who live with their family can be a trigger. Of course, over time, you’ll adapt to the change and a lot of positives will come from the hard times faced when learning to deal with it.
With MCO and the COVID-19 pandemic resulting in working and studying from home, there's even more reason to be homesick especially when you’re in quarantine miles away from your family. If you’re living away from home and are feeling homesick, here's how you can overcome it:
