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04 Apr 2024
6 Min Read
Afrina Arfa (Alumni Writer), Nellie Chan (Editor)
Let's actively participate in the discourse of men's evolving roles as providers for the family and facilitate discussions that transcend being the breadwinner!
In the pursuit of gender equality, there has been a commendable focus on women's rights, roles, and careers in recent years. However, this spotlight often casts a shadow on equally significant threads of our societal fabric: the evolving roles of men and their contributions to contemporary society. Throughout history, the archetype of traditional masculinity has been characterised by stoicism, dominance, and the role of the provider. From hunting for food in ancient times to working a 9 to 5 job in recent years, it seems men have been confined to a narrow definition of providing for their families.
Yet, as time progresses and society changes, the notion of male provision is expanding to encompass aspects that were once stigmatised as unmasculine. While men may have previously faced social stigma for exhibiting behaviours stereotypically associated with femininity, such as expressing emotions or participating in household chores, a new wave of encouragement is emerging for men to embrace these roles. Why? Because they play a pivotal role in fostering nurturing relationships within the family, thereby contributing to a healthier domestic environment.
Tracing the origin of gender roles to a singular point in history proves challenging, but according to the World Health Organisation (WHO), this social construct dates back as far as the 14th century. Historically and culturally, both men's and women's roles have been attributed to the fundamental differences that identify them, resulting in females being relegated indoors to perform domestic tasks, while men engaged in activities outdoors. However, many believe that the Industrial Revolution of the 19th century was instrumental in solidifying these roles, cementing what were gendered divisions into the pervasive stereotypes that persist today.
As society transitioned from a subsistence economy to wage labour in the 1800s, the need for a division of labour to ensure the livelihood of families became evident. Households could no longer rely solely on what they gathered, produced, or bartered. Consequently, men took on the responsibility of working to earn an income, while women assumed the duties of caring for the children and managing the household. This division of labour not only perpetuated the pre-existing religious, legal, and political customs that supported patriarchal structures but also, within a short span of decades, resulted in marriages being organised around men as breadwinners and women as breadmakers.
However, the heightened awareness of gender equality at the turn of the 21st century drastically altered the reality of providing for families. Men today are no longer bound by traditional understandings of masculinity but are instead breaking free from gender conventions and societal expectations, venturing into roles such as househusbands while their partners pursue careers. This trend unsettles deeply entrenched gender stereotypes and opens up opportunities for men to provide beyond just financial support. Nevertheless, just as it took centuries for society to recognise the multifaceted impact of gender stereotypes, reconstructing the concept of male provision within families will also require time, owing to one of the more prominent factors commonly associated with femininity: emotions.
Whether consciously or unconsciously, children often turn to their mothers for emotional support but look to their fathers for guidance on matters related to careers and the outside world. According to a survey conducted by the Harvard Education School's Making Caring Common project, 72% of children aged 14 to 18 years old feel comfortable opening up to their mothers about topics such as anxiety, depression, or other mental health challenges, compared to 39% who open up to their fathers. While it may be tempting to attribute these statistics to inherent differences between men and women, it has less to do with biological predispositions and more to do with entrenched gender stereotypes and societal norms.
Trapped within the stereotypical 'box' of masculinity, which constricts them with ideals of stoicism and dominance, men often find themselves limited in their ability to show vulnerability to their family members. While this may appear inconsequential, it has life-threatening effects on both the men and their families as it undermines their emotional and mental health. Due to the stigma surrounding men expressing emotions, those who experience distress are more likely to suppress these feelings, allowing them to fester and potentially manifest into dangerously aggressive behaviours. Ultimately, these men may experience feelings of isolation and inadequacy, further exacerbating negative effects on family dynamics.
Despite existing stereotypes, the evolving concept of male provision has prompted a change in how men approach emotions. Those who openly embrace and express their emotions often experience positive effects not only on their own emotional and mental well-being but also on their families. By engaging in open communication and demonstrating emotional vulnerability, these men contribute to healthier relationships, deeper understanding, and stronger family bonds. Research supports this, suggesting that children who have close relationships with their fathers tend to have fewer weight concerns, higher self-esteem, and lower rates of depression.
Just as society historically taught men to provide for the family, they were also taught to let women 'provide' within it. This built a barrier for men from taking up a more prominent role in household responsibilities, leaving women to shoulder these tasks predominantly. However, there has been a growing recognition to reevaluate male provision, leading to a significant increase in men's contributions to the household. From the 1960s to the 2000s, men's contribution to housework doubled, increasing from about 15% to over 30% of the total. Moreover, the amount of time men spent in childcare had tripled between 1965 and 2003.
While these findings indicate a shift towards shared responsibilities between men and women in both work and family life, it is undeniable that there remains a pressing need to address household contributions regardless of gender. Just as there is no one-size-fits-all solution for any challenge in the world, household responsibilities should be equitably divided through open communication, respectful negotiation, and mutual understanding between both partners.
Over the years, the perception of men and their expected roles in their families has been evolving steadily, marking a departure from conventional gender norms. While still frowned upon in many cultures and societies, men are shedding the 'skin' of traditional masculinity to embrace their authentic selves, exploring diverse ways to provide for their families beyond mere financial means.
Yet, despite visible strides towards gender equality, men's reality within the context of the home still lags far behind that of women, underscoring the ongoing need for action. As we gather with our families this festive season, let us be reminded that only by embodying a progressive spirit within households grounded in mutual understanding and collaboration can we uproot these entrenched gender stereotypes and strive for a future where the contributions of all members are equally valued and celebrated.
Wishing all families a Selamat Hari Raya.
Afrina Arfa is a Bachelor of Finance and Economics (Honours) alumna of Taylor's University. She spends her time indulging in economic news, hoping to inspire others to think beyond the constraints of society.
